


The Name, The Curse

by mooshkabunny



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Where you didn’t know they were your soulmate until you hear them say your name, prompts from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22237744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooshkabunny/pseuds/mooshkabunny
Summary: (Though, soulmate or not, he found himself loving her more and more each day. Until, weak, selfish, and hopeless, he gave in to loving her.)He’d prayed that he’d never see the day she’d say his name.
Relationships: Blackwall/Female Inquisitor, Female Adaar/Blackwall, Female Adaar/Blackwall | Thom Rainier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	The Name, The Curse

# 20 Where you didn’t know they were your soulmate until you hear them say your name

From an early age, Sula Adaar had been smitten with the thought of finding her true love. Her mother patiently explained that a soul mate was not necessarily romantic love, just the person for whom you cannot live without, and you would know them the moment you heard them say your name. It didn’t matter. She knew from the stories and books her parents let her indulge in that her soul mate would be a just, wondrous knight, who would sweep her off her feet, and whisk her to the romance she always had dreamed of.

She searched her whole life for her soul mate. Even if that fated spark never occurred, she pursued her few romances diligently, hoping against hope that perhaps it was metaphorical, or subtle, or something you just had to believe hard enough in.

The reality knocked the air out of her. It was such an ordinary moment in what had become an extraordinary life so quickly. She’d asked the Warden to join the Inquisition, and after a moment’s hesitation, he’d agreed.

With a big smile, she clapped his shoulder. “Glad to have you aboard, Blackwall! My name is Sula. Adaar. Sula Adaar.” She laughed at her own rambling, rolling her eyes. Recruiting was not easy for her.

But he had nice eyes, she thought, as they crinkled into a small smile, “Sula. That’s a lovely name.”

Her heart was beating a bit faster. Her head felt a bit light, but she supposed that was from the fight they had just had before recruiting him. How many people made her heart beat faster and her head light—it was embarrassing more than life changing. “Oh… it’s nothing. Short for Ursula, is all. But please don’t call me that.”

“Ursula? That’s also lovely, but Sula suits you much better,” he chuckled.

She was lost. Like a burst of sunshine, everything settled in her, a sort of peace she’d never known she could feel. It was so much more than the fleeting hopes she’d chased—it was comfort, it was safety, it was home. Home she’d never known, and always had been running to, but there it was, in the soft gleam of his blue eyes.

When he said they couldn’t be together, it was like drowning in ice. Everything burned a cool fury, but she tried to respect his wishes, tried to understand how the sweet dream she’d always chased could end this way. But that was how it had to be. So, she would press on. She’d never known home before, surely she could live without it now. He’d still be there, a steadfast companion, brightening her days and warming her soul with his smiles, even if they were not for her. That would have to be enough. It had to.

He’d always liked the idea, and disliked the idea. The wild young man he’d been hated the idea of being tied down. No one could know his soul better than he did. He was singular, heroic, magnificent—or he would be, soon. But in the lonely dark hours where he proved that he wasn’t any of those things he dreamed of, when a summer evening took on an unnatural chill, and the night was devoid of stars, he thought how wonderful it would be to have anyone, just one person, who did know him. Who understood him. Who could help him make sense of the mess he’d made of himself.

Those dark moments continued to grow worse, as Thom became Blackwall, and he knew for certain that whatever poor soul was out there for him, he did not deserve them, and they did not deserve the pain of knowing him.

When the Inquisitor told him what she felt, his heart broke for her. Sula was too good, too important, too kind to have to be saddled with the evils he’d done. So he tried, best as he could, to fight fate. Gently, kindly, but firm.

After all, he didn’t know if she was his soulmate. Perhaps it had been just a mistake. She spoke often of her yearning to find love. He hoped against hope that he was just another mistake, that he would not hurt her further by reciprocating.

(Though, soulmate or not, he found himself loving her more and more each day. Until, weak, selfish, and hopeless, he gave in to loving her.)

He’d prayed that he’d never see the day she’d say his name.

But he was a man whose prayers deserved to be unanswered. 

“Who… is Thom Rainier?” The certainty that filled his heart made his knees weak, and his hands shake. It took all he had to stay standing, but Maker, he could not look at her. Not when he knew that all that she was, and she knew him. It was a guiding light reaching through him to her, to hold her, breathe in her scent and succumb to a calmness he should not get to have. 

He swallowed hard, and answered her the best he could. Her last question though left his mouth dry. He could not speak.

“Do you know now? What I feel? Or was it just me?”

He turned away from her, and sunk to the floor. Desperation had not reached her voice, but the choked, aching sound she made before she left should have killed him. 

He wished it had killed him.

The trial was a battle of soul. She determined to save his, him determined to sever theirs if he had to. He tried to be cruel, he tried to show her the corruption she had brought to the inquisition just by saving him. She just stood there, dressed in the makings of holiness, and he scoffed at that too. But her eyes were too kind, too gentle, and her gaze too firm. She won, mercifully. It was more than he deserved, but she still held his gaze, refusing to look away. Refusing to let their connection go.

And so, aching with the need to be near her, to reach out and touch what his own soul longed for, he hazarded a step up the throne to her.

“And… what of us? I lied about who I was, but not about what I felt. Whatever I was before, now I am just a man with his heart laid bare. I leave it in your hands.”

“You were ready to die, but I wasn’t ready to let you go… your place is here, by my side,” she was breathless, the cool calm veneer of authority slipping fast, her golden eyes gleaming.

“I… I don’t know how to be with you as Thom Rainier.”

Without even thinking she’d bridged the gap. She was smiling now, reaching out to him. He wondered if it was sacrilege or pride that dolled her up as Andraste, but as she stepped closer, he felt for a moment he could believe that Andraste’s holy light really did shine through her. That, or he just loved her far too much.

“We’ll figure it out,” she whispered, unable to keep herself from touching him.

“Together,” he whispered back, and when she kissed him, in front of the Maker and all of his creations, without question or pause, he felt his soul alight anew, and felt for the first time in his life that perhaps he was truly known.


End file.
